last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
its not stalking. its research.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
