My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
