I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
