Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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