You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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