We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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