super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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