in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Randomize
