I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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