I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize