last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
