Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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