I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Vodka?
Forever.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
