It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize