porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
