No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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