so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
