but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
