with your own penis?
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
