Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
