Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
