i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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