I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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