Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I could make wine with my vomit
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
