dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
