He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Randomize
