a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
