There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
