My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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