I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
handjob tips. give me some.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
