Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize