if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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