he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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