Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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