rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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