Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
