mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Drunk is not a location!
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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