i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
