I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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