I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
