My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
