I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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