I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
