Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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