we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
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