D3 body, D1 cock
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
