cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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