did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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