Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
