3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize