Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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