hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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