lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
And the cops told us we were all naked.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
