This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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