A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Randomize
