also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
